Do a hashtag search for “parental alienation”, “false allegations”, or “joint custody” on social media and you will undoubtedly run across a plethora of posts attempting to discredit parental alienation, reverse the blame for it, or gaslight the audience into accepting that the abuser is the actual victim.
Changing and correcting public sentiment about parental alienation, child abusers, and their enablers starts with effectively disrupting this disinformation effort on the front-end, and in that regard we all have a part to play in taking the fight to the enemies of loving parents and children.
The most common tactic you will likely run across is the practice of substituting the concept “parental alienation syndrome” for “parental alienation abuse” in their arguments, claims, and assertions. PA abuse and PAS are NOT the same things. The former is widely accepted as child abuse, and the latter is conjecture with virtually no scientific evidence to support it.
Another common tactic is for an abusing parent to accuse the other parent of being the source of the abuse since their children are exhibiting symptoms of child abuse, and therefore, they are doing what they have to do to protect their children by limiting and controlling access of the alleged abuser to their children.
And lastly, there are the claims that allegations of parental alienation made against them are false allegations intended to deflect blame from the real abuser.
You’ve probably seen all these arguments in various forms more than once, and when coming across posts or comments like this, it’s helpful to understand a little game theory (game theory is the art and science of defeating your adversaries by reading what they are up to, anticipating what they will do, and outmaneuvering them) when you confront them.
If you are going to disrupt these kinds of engineered public deception campaigns and turn the tables on the source, you should keep in mind that in responding to their posts or comments, your objective is NOT to persuade them they are wrong.
First of all, probably 90% of the people you run into in life do not have the will or the emotional resilience to change or update their beliefs about anything, but with respect to alienators, they are posting with the express intent to manipulate the public with (often subtle) deception. You are not going to win an argument with these people, so don’t bother trying.
Instead, what you want to do USE their posts or comments as an opportunity to illustrate the point you are making for the benefit of EVERYONE ELSE who sees the post.
When your responses are handled tactically this way, it pays-off for you in two distinct ways:
First, it makes the comment punishing instead of rewarding to the liar, thereby reducing or eliminating their desire to post more of them in the future. You have, in effect, tactically reversed the incentives to post future disinformation; which is a big effect.
Secondly, it provides you with an opportunity to point outside viewers to credible information that accurately and truthfully describes the problem so we can educate the public while simultaneously discrediting and exposing the fraudulent nature of the post and the poster who made it.
Sharable Article Links For Combating Disinformation About PA, False Allegations, and Equal Shared Parenting
Most of us don’t particularly want to get involved with long, back and forth arguments with liars on the internet. Nothing you say is going to change their mind, so these experiences tend to be aggravating and a massive waste of your time.
So, what I like to do is respond to their garbage with two or three succinct sentences, and then follow it up with a link that directs other observers to the truth.
For example,
I’ll then follow up with a link to a useful article that properly informs any audience and exposes the deceptive poster.
Responding to crap like this should take you no more than a few seconds, but the positive impact you can have is huge, so to help you combat disinformation when you come across it, I have dedicated a section on the public face of our website specifically for listing article links that you can use to combat PA and family court disinformation posts.
I currently have three articles up, and will be adding another half a dozen or so over the next few weeks so you can quickly and easily counter the most common deceptive comments you run across on social media.
The following articles are currently are up and ready for you to use. Just copy an appropriate link into your comment, and move with your day:
Other Updates And Stuff Incoming:
- Legacy Member Handbook: So the thing is, I could never get comfortable with the environment this resource was housed within. In fact, I hated it. On the one hand, I wanted each chapter to deliver the reader to a solid and relatively complete understanding of the topic at hand, but on the other hand, that meant web pages that were 20k-30k words long, and that is just too much content to read on a web page. So, to make things better, I’m moving that content into the Discover article environment where the information is easier to access and work through, while also allowing for the better chunking of stuff into smaller, more digestible piles that also better synergize Tactical Notebook topics with relevant Handbook concepts. In addition, I’m kind of old-school and I like paper, so this content will now be printable so you can start a notebook, highlight stuff, make notes on the material, etc. You can access the index to the content here, and I will begin installing the content over the weekend.
- Reversal Games & Campaigns: Up until this point, I’ve just plunked some filler place holder stuff into this area, but over the next 6 months I will be putting together some real campaigns and games of strategy for you to enjoy, so stay tuned!
- Messaging And Advocacy: If you want to take a public stand against child abuse, You can help reverse and correct public sentiment about parental alienation, abusive parents, and their enablers with something you already use every day in the form of our collective messaging mug. Also, if you’d like to share a powerful message of encouragement with yourself or others who are in the fight, our popular “Fight For What You Love T” is on sale.
- Bugs: Been squashing a lot of site bugs and addressing some cosmetic issues. There is one persistent bug that has surfaced on the login and registration forms where a button is not aligning properly. I’m having a hard time figuring out what is happening there, but I’ll get it fixed. If you happen to come across any others or you wish to offer general site feedback, please post them in the feedback section of the member forums.
No matter where you are with respect to your L&IP-related goals, I encourage you to hang in there! Embrace your personal fight, and embrace the bigger fight for all. Live!
Warmest Regards,
Michael (Huckleberry)
