The Problem: A System Built to Exploit Families

Family court operates under the banner of “the best interests of the child.” The reality, exposed by decades of clinical research, government census data, and hard-won firsthand experience, tells a very different story.

The evidence is unambiguous: children thrive most when they maintain strong, meaningful relationships with both parents. Yet U.S. family courts award sole or primary custody to mothers 80–85% of the time — a disparity that cannot be explained by child welfare research. It can be explained by money.

Under Title IV-D of the Social Security Act, the federal government distributes billions of dollars in financial incentives to states that maximize the child support pools they administer. The formula is brutal in its simplicity: fewer overnights for the non-custodial parent means higher child support orders. Higher child support orders mean larger pools. Larger pools mean larger federal bonuses — to the tune of $735 million in fiscal year 2025 alone.

The result is a $100 billion-per-year industry that profits from parental conflict, weaponizes loss-aversion psychology against loving parents, and enables narcissistic abuse, legal abuse, and parental alienation — then gaslights an entire society into believing the outcome was the non-custodial parent’s fault.

The collateral damage — depressed and anxious children, estranged parents, bankrupted families, and non-custodial parents with suicide rates 350% higher than their custodial counterparts — is not an accident. It is the predictable, documented product of a system designed this way.

That is the lie. And exposing it is why the Love & Iron Project exists.

Our Mission

Since 2011, the Love & Iron Project has operated at the intersection of advocacy, education, and practical support for targeted parents and their families. Our work rests on three commitments.

1. Dispel Misinformation, Disinformation, and Deception

We confront and dismantle the disinformation surrounding family law — from the mythology of “best interests” rulings to the deliberate conflation of parental alienation abuse with discredited syndrome claims, to the socio-economic policy driving family court outcomes that government and the family court industry would prefer remain invisible. The truth must be told plainly, and it must travel.

2. Promote Truth and Provide Resources

Our specialized role is to equip targeted parents and families with shareable, research-backed content and the practical tools, strategies, and community connections needed to endure and outmaneuver family court pathology. We don’t sugarcoat what you’re up against. We help you navigate it.

3. Advocate for Lasting Reform

Equal shared parenting is not a fringe position — it is the consensus of child psychology and psychiatric research. We support the growing movement for a rebuttable presumption of 50/50 custody in every state, modeled on the documented success of Kentucky’s landmark 2018 equal shared parenting reform, which reduced court cases, reduced domestic violence complaints, improved child outcomes, and increased financial stability for both mothers and fathers.

What We Cover

Our content is organized around what targeted parents actually need to know:

Family Court Pathology — How the system is engineered, who profits from it, and how to recognize the tactics being deployed against you.

Parental Alienation Abuse — Evidence-based analysis of PA abuse, its clinically validated strategies, and how to document and respond to them effectively.

False Allegations — The nuclear weapon of family court custody disputes: how false accusations work, why there is no downside to making them under current law, and how to defend against them.

Law & Policy Reform — The truth about Title IV-D financial incentives, the legislative history of modern child support law, and the growing case for equal shared parenting reform.

Endurance & Strategy — Practical guidance on maintaining your mental, financial, and legal footing during prolonged high-conflict litigation against a system that profits from your exhaustion.

Child Wellbeing & Attachment — What the clinical and academic research actually says children need — and what family court consistently denies them.

The Truth Needs to Travel

The most powerful thing you can do right now is share what you know. Our articles are written to be read, printed, and distributed — to friends, family members, lawmakers, and anyone who still believes the family court narrative at face value.

Start with our flagship article: The Big Lie of Family Court — available at loveandiron.com/the-big-lie-of-family-court.