Hi! Great Little Setup Here!

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    • Shelby BTHR Coach
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      Rank: Novice Member

      Well, as I’m writing a blog post today, I googled to find a statistic, and came across one of the entries from here (#6, actually). This is such a great site! I’ve only poked around for a few minutes, but someone’s labor of love is written all over it. I’m surprised that there aren’t gobs of us target parents flocked here yet?! Although my reach isn’t crazy big (yet), I’d love to help get the word out. 🙂

      To introduce myself, My name is Shelby (do we do that here? First names? ). My daughter just turned 15. Alienation strategies began the moment my ex and I split (roughly 14 yrs ago); however, did not become severe until years later. I was her primary until she was 9 — which was when I put a halt to an elective surgery that her father and step-mother scheduled for her without my consent. All in all, I’ve spent upwards of $200K in court; thus far, it hasn’t been enough. Her father continues to find loopholes in the order, trusting that I will not find the money to out-lawyer him, as I did in the early days.

      As with most of us, my PTSD and devastation debilitated me for many years. I drank myself to sleep nightly for a long time.

      One day, while sitting on my couch — having not showered or left the house in something like 10 days — I realized that I’d watched nearly 3 years of my life pass me by from that very seat. I felt trapped — like I was standing at the bottom of a well — no exit doors or windows. It was DARK… and UGLY. I felt helpless. I had no idea how to get out from under his thumb.

      That day on the couch was about 3 1/2 years ago. I’ve since:

      – gone back to school
      – let go of drinking (which I thought would *never* happen)
      – started showering (every. damn. day. Even when I wanted to hide in bed — *especially* on those days)
      – certified as a life coach (twice)
      – opened a practice
      – bought a home
      – *actually begun living life again*

      Joy happens. So does grief. Some days more than others. But mostly, its about 50/50; which I think is pretty much the essence of the human experience.

      My daughter’s birthday was on Wednesday. I saw her via (supervised) Zoom call for about 5 min, as she was busy with friends. Bittersweet, to say the least. Helping other parents to feel less victimized is what helps me when my grief bombs hit.

      Anyway, I’m happy to have found y’all. I really hope this place grows. You’ve provided such a fantastic place for us. I really love what you’ve done here 🙂

      *My area of expertise: helping target parents who want to reinvent their lives by changing their relationship to alcohol (or other habits that aren’t currently serving them). So… anyone who’s drinking and wants to stop, I GOT YOU!!

      Otherwise, I’m happy to lend a friendly ear (virtual shoulder) to anyone who needs, anytime.

      I’d love to find a group of us that want to feature each other on our own platforms, so as to lift each other up. How great would it be to have a group of us referring others to our respective businesses?? … LOL, or maybe that’s already purposed in to this site..?

      **I just realized that there are specific boards on which to post. I have no idea where this would categorize. There is no “general”. Ima leave it blank and see what happens.

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