One of the huge problems we have in our fight for Family Law Reform is the problem of “enablers”.
We’ve got so many people enabling and empowering the horrific behavior going in within Family Law.
We’ve got lawyers counseling clients that it’s right and good for them to limit or eliminate the relationships between children and NCP’s to gain freedom and child support. We even have lawyers who will subtly coach clients on how to make false allegations to gain an advantage.
We’ve got judges who absolutely detest hearing custody disputes, so they use a variety of direct and indirect methods to make the cost of enforcing visitation prohibitively expensive (child support, litigation, procedure, unequal enforcement of family court orders)
We’ve got court-appointed social workers who are making a killing by mining data the necessary data to support a decision they already know the Court wants to make.
We’ve got supervised parenting services who are actively promoting that during divorce, this service is healthy, when in fact; it’s a very powerful weapon of alienation.
We’ve got politicians who are using Family Law to play political games, spinning public perception away from the truth in order to secure the votes of single mothers, who, are one of the fastest growing demographics.
And last but not least, we’ve got the friends, families, and co-workers of alienating and abusive parents who either directly tell these people what they’re doing is okay, or indirectly do so by looking the other way.
In any case, alienators and abusers keep getting the message: “What you’re doing is right and good. You deserve to be happy. Keep it up!”
There is no other way around it. If we really want change, if we really care about children; we must abandon our need to avoid conflict.
Be mindful and of public opinion, but don’t NEED it. Be wise, not fearful.
If we want change, we have to accept this reality:
Lawyers will not change their behaviors until the Courts change their behaviors.
Courts will not change their behaviors until the Laws are changed.
Laws will not change until the politicians are changed.
And politicians will not change until public opinion changes.
Therefore, we can sit here on pages like this and bitch and moan all day long about our ex’s, the family court industry, courts – all of it.
But we must not deceive ourselves. Change will NOT happen until each and every one of us develops to will, each and every day, to confront the problem.
One cannot escape personal responsibility for our futures, and to do otherwise, makes no different than our opposition. It just provides us with different reasons to be hypocrites.
I will NOT enable you, because I want you to succeed. We are better than them, and we WILL get what we want.
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